Ruby! You're Not Annie-May!
by Troumvirate
Summary: I don't know.
1. Chapter 1

Wow what a surprise. The Scooby gang were all sitting around that house that they've been in since the beginning of volume 5. Apparently they were "training". If by "training" you meant Ruby throwing a girly punch at the only character who was even girlier than her, Oscar. Even doing that every episode would be better than what we actually got. Show us some training. Show us Jaune meditating so hard that it looks like he's trying to squeeze out a shit for the first time in a week. Something. Anything.

What-fucking-ever. They were all sitting around, and Ruby was bored.

"Gee, it sure is boring around here," the girl said with a roll of her eyes.

Ozpin brought his Freddy Got Fingered finger up in the air, still fresh with the pungent aroma of Oscar's anus. "Mah girl, this peace is what all true huntresses strive for."

"I just wonder what Salem's up to."

Then Qrow came in. He was in his bird form, and just before flying in through the open window he shat right on Bumblebee. And no, I'm not talking about the ship. I'm talking about Yang's motorcycle. I know you people probably think I hate Bumblebee or something, but I don't. Not that I care if you believe me or anything, but I just thought I'd clear the air. If you're mad about it, just go read Jaune's Penis Can Cure Lesbians again. For some reason that's a huge fucking hit.

Anyway, Qrow's here. He's queer. Get used to it. "Ozpin. Cinder and her minions have seized the relic of knowledge!"

Ozpin, who had free reign to inhabit Oscar's body at will, and thus destroying any tension or anything interesting about that dynamic, frowned. "Hmm. How can we help?"

Qrow took out his scroll and started pointing at random things like he did that one time in Leonardo's office. "It is written, only my niece can defeat Cinder."

Ruby was eager to get her hands on Cinder again. Cinder had murdered her best friend Pyrrha. She remembered the moment with vivid clarity. Up there on Beacon's roof, where she couldn't do a thing to save her bestie. Cinder would pay for what she had done. No one had a right to be as angry about Pyrrha as Ruby was. No one.

The child nodded her head firmly, filled with resolve. "Great, I'll grab my scythe."

"There is no time. Your silver eyes are enough."

With a shrug, Ruby turned to her partner. "Okay. Weiss, do me a favor. Don't get stabbed."

Weiss nodded. "Got it."

"We can't lose you. You keep our male to female ratio balanced."

"Right." The semen-colored-haired girl did a double take. "Wait, what?"

"Well it's me, Yang and Nora," Ruby explained. "And then you, Ren and Jaune."

"Excuse me? Ruby, I'm a girl!"

Ruby blinked. "Who?"

"What?"

"Who's Ruby?"

"You are."

"No I'm not. I'm Annie-May."

Any chatter that had been going on in the room stopped, and there sure was a lot of it considering that all these people ever do is sit around and talk. All eyes settled on Ruby who had said the most retarded thing she had since that one time she had to count on her fingers to remember how many people were in her traveling group.

"What do you mean?" Yang asked.

"I'm not Ruby. I'm Annie-May."

"Since when?"

"I dunno. Since always?"

Yang shook her head. "Nuh uh. No way. I remember when you were born. I remember where you were born too. You were born as Ruby. Not Annie-May."

"Look it doesn't matter where I was born, or what I was called when I was born. I may have been born Ruby, but I've always felt as if I was more of an Annie-May."

Weiss, who was still probably pissed off for being mistaken as a boy again, stood up. "Ruby, you magnificently ignorant slut. You can't just decide you're Annie-May because you feel like it."

"But Annie-May is cooler! It sounds cooler! It's easier for people to identify me as Annie-May! I mean, look at my style! Does this not just scream Annie-May to you?"

Then suddenly and stupidly, a fat blob of lard rolled in through the door. The tips of his fingers were stained orange with Cheetos dust, and a patch worked layer of facial hair covered his cheeks and neck like a 20 year old shag carpet. However the man's sense of fashion was impeccable, for his trilby was wearing a fedora of its own.

"Oh no!" Ruby said as she pointed at the man. "It's the guy from one of Troumvirate's early RWBY fan fictions, 'Jaune Arc is a Faggot (like the bundle of sticks)'!"

The man wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Technically, RWBY is a computer-animated production. An animated production is anything where a sequence of (drawn) pictures is shown as a rapid reproduction so as to create the illusion of movement. As such it is the opposite of the classic film, in which a movement is recorded in a sequence of pictures the displaying of which in rapid succession 'recreates' the movement.

It depends on what definition you're going with. A lot of people still use 'anime' to describe an animation from Japan, but these days, it's also used to describe the general style. Some people settle for calling an anime that was made in America an Americanime. So I guess you could call RWBY an Americanime.

It's like how Avatar: The Last Airbender is often referred to as both: an anime and an Americanime.

I pretty much often lean toward calling it an Americanime or an anime-like CG series, mostly so as not to upset anyone who stands firm with the definition of anime being 'animation from Japan'."

With that, the man rolled away as quickly as he had come. A hero that they needed, but not the one they deserved.

"Wow this really wasn't funny at all," Jaune said. "What was the point of it all?"

Find out the answer in chapter 2!

The end.


	2. Chapter 2

To waste time.


End file.
